Are you finding your true happiness? A report done by PBS states that only 14% of people say they are “very happy.” This fact shows that many struggle to find lasting happiness. Can happiness be truly measured?
I never thought I’d dive deep into the science of happiness. Yet here I am, having spent countless hours researching what makes us truly happy. What I’ve discovered has completely changed my perspective on joy and fulfillment.
Happiness
In this article, I’ll share what I’ve learned about happiness, why knowing yourself matters, and why building solid relationships matters. We’ll also talk about following your dreams and finding balance. By growing personally, we can find true happiness and live a more meaningful life. Arthur Brooks also has a great You Tube video where he answers questions about happiness; you can check it out here.
Key Takeaways
- True happiness is a personal journey of self-discovery and growth
- Understanding the essence of enjoyment is crucial for lasting happiness
- Cultivating self-awareness and mindfulness are fundamental to emotional well-being
- Nurturing meaningful relationships and pursuing passions contribute to life satisfaction
- Finding a balance between happiness and enjoyment is essential for a fulfilling life
“Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions.” – Dalai Lama.
To define happiness for yourself, ask these questions:
- What activities or experiences bring me the most enjoyment and fulfillment?
- When do I feel satisfied, content, and at peace with myself and my life?
- What are my core values and purpose, and how can I align my actions with them?
The Happiness Crisis We’re Facing
Let’s be honest—we’re in a happiness crisis. As the study shows above, only 14% of Americans consider themselves “very happy.” I was part of the other 86% until I started this journey.
What Arthur C. Brooks Taught Me About Happiness
Through my research, I’ve had some key takeaways from Arthur C. Brooks’ work on happiness. As a Harvard professor and happiness researcher, Brooks has shown us something fascinating: happiness isn’t just about feeling good. It’s about finding meaning.
Here’s what struck me from his research:
- Happiness requires a balance of enjoyment, satisfaction, and purpose
- Our relationships matter more than our achievements
- The pursuit of status often makes us less happy
- True happiness comes from serving others
The Truth About Temporary Pleasure vs. Lasting Joy
I used to chase the wrong things—you know what I mean: keeping up with the Joneses, buying a new car to get that new car smell, the latest iPhone, the latest fashion trends.
I’ve learned that these things are like sugar highs—they give you a quick boost of happiness, but then it fades, especially once those car payments kick in. Chasing happiness by constantly moving on to the next best thing is short-lived. It often leaves you feeling unfulfilled, always searching for more.
What Creates Lasting Happiness:
- Deep connections with others
- Personal growth
- Contributing to something bigger than yourself
- Living aligned with your core values
The Power of Self-Awareness in Finding Joy
I’ve discovered that self-awareness is like a superpower when it comes to happiness. When I started paying attention to my thoughts and feelings, everything changed. I learned how to be present and express gratitude for what I have in my life.
My Daily Mindfulness Practice:
- Morning meditation (even if it’s just 5 minutes)
- Journaling before bed
- Regular check-ins with my emotions
- Mindful walking without my phone
- Changing counterproductive behaviors
Building Your Happiness Through Relationships
Brooks’ research consistently shows that relationships are the foundation of happiness. I’ve found this to be incredibly accurate in my own life. Learning how to listen is the first step. Take time to learn how to actively listen to your friends and family. Read more on how to learn this valuable skill in my blog post about actively listening.
How I’m Strengthening My Relationships:
- Weekly phone calls with family members
- Regular coffee dates with friends
- Joining community groups
- Practicing active listening
- Showing gratitude daily
The Science Behind Meaningful Connections
Research shows that strong social connections can:
- Increase life expectancy
- Lower stress levels
- Improve mental health
- Boost immune system function
- Enhance overall life satisfaction
Finding Purpose Through Passion
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that purpose fuels happiness. It’s not about what you do – it’s about why you do it.
Steps I Took to Find My Purpose:
- Listed my core values
- Identified activities that make me lose track of time “finding flow”
- I asked myself what problems I wanted to solve
- Experimented with different volunteer opportunities
- Reflected on when I felt the most positive in my life
The Balance Between Achievement and Contentment
Brooks talks about the “satisfaction-success paradox” – how chasing achievement can actually make us less happy. I’ve learned to find balance by:
- Celebrating small wins
- Setting meaningful goals, not just impressive ones
- Discovering happiness in the journey, not just the destination
- Practicing gratitude for what I have
Simple Daily Practices for Greater Happiness
Through trial and error, I’ve developed these daily habits:
- Three minutes of deep breathing each morning
- Writing down three things I’m grateful for
- Performing one random act of kindness
- Taking a short walk in nature
- Having one meaningful conversation
The Role of Experience in Lasting Joy
I’ve stopped spending money on things and started investing in experiences. Here’s why:
- Experiences create lasting memories
- They connect us with others
- They provide stories to share
- They contribute to personal growth
Overcoming Common Happiness Obstacles
We all face barriers to happiness. Here are some I’ve encountered and how I’ve dealt with them:
- Social media comparison – Limited my screen time
- Perfectionism – Embraced “good enough”
- Fear of failure – Reframed failures as learning opportunities
- Negative self-talk – Practiced self-compassion – Speaking with a professional may help you find self-compassion
The Impact of Giving on Happiness
One of Brooks’ key findings is that giving makes us happier than receiving. Some of the things you can try and experience this through:
- Volunteer work
- Mentoring others
- Supporting friends in need
- Contributing to community projects
Creating Your Personal Happiness Plan
Based on everything I’ve learned, here’s how to create your happiness strategy:
- Assess your current happiness level
- Identify your values and priorities
- Set meaningful goals – setting goals is important – having an accountability coach can help achieve them.
- Build strong relationships
- Practice daily gratitude
- Contribute to others
- Maintain work-life balance
The Future of Happiness
As we progress, happiness will become less about achievement and more about connection, meaning, and purpose. Brooks’ research supports this shift toward “satisfaction-based happiness.”
Let me be honest about what I’ve learned on this journey. Finding happiness isn’t as simple as following a checklist or reading the right books. It’s messy, complicated, and sometimes downright frustrating. Here is a great resource to find the secrets of happiness.
The Hard Truth
I’ve discovered that genuine happiness often comes with its share of challenges:
- Some days, no matter what you do, joy feels out of reach
- Practicing mindfulness and gratitude can feel forced and artificial at first
- Building meaningful relationships means risking rejection and disappointment
- Finding purpose sometimes requires failing at things you thought would make you happy
- The path to contentment often involves facing uncomfortable truths about yourself
I’ve had moments when all the “right” practices felt hollow. There were times when meditation seemed pointless, and gratitude journaling felt like going through the motions. There have been days when connecting with others was exhausting rather than uplifting.
The Silver Lining
But here’s the beautiful paradox I’ve discovered: accepting these struggles is part of finding true happiness. When I stopped trying to be happy all the time, I became happier overall.
The most meaningful insights I’ve gained:
- Real happiness includes embracing both joy and sadness
- The difficult moments make the good ones more meaningful
- Being authentic about your struggles connects you more deeply with others
- Growth often happens in the valleys, not just the peaks
- Imperfect progress is still progress
Final Thoughts
My journey to understanding happiness has taught me that it’s not about figuring everything out. It’s about growing, connecting, and finding meaning in the everyday moments.
Remember, happiness isn’t a destination – it’s a practice. Start small, be consistent, and focus on what truly matters.
What steps will you take today to increase your happiness?
As I wrap up this exploration of happiness, I want to leave you with this thought: happiness isn’t about reaching a perfect state of constant joy. It’s about building a life that feels meaningful to you, even when it’s challenging. It’s about finding people who support you through highs and lows. Most importantly, it’s about accepting yourself—not just your achievements and positive qualities but also your doubts, fears, and imperfections.
Your journey to happiness might look different from mine, and that’s precisely how it should be. Some days, you’ll feel on top of the world; others, you’ll wonder if you’re doing it all wrong. But as long as you keep showing up, learning, and connecting with others, you’re on the right path.
Remember, it’s okay not to be OK sometimes. That’s part of being human. The real victory isn’t in being happy all the time—it’s in building a life that feels authentic and meaningful to you, even when happiness feels just out of reach.
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Disclosure: The content on my website is for informational purposes only. I express my opinions of what I have experienced and what has worked for me. The information I write about is NOT designed to supplement or replace professional medical guidance, diagnosis, or treatment.
You should always research and seek advice from your family physician or a qualified healthcare professional for any queries about medical conditions you might have.