Building self-trust and fostering accountability is a personal endeavor that can feel like a daunting uphill climb. Yet, it’s essential to our personal growth and overcoming internal struggles.
We often look outward for validation, but the power to build trust lies within us. Facing our fears, understanding our feelings, asking ourselves the hard questions, and setting clear boundaries are all steps towards building our path forward, providing us the tools to believe and self-trust.
Self Trust
In this post, we delve into the intricacies of self-trust and accountability, providing practical advice and sharing personal experiences to guide you on this transformative journey.
We all have that inner critic, the voice that whispers doubts and tells us we’re not good enough. This voice can be especially loud, almost deafening at times, for those recovering from trauma. It can keep us stuck, afraid to trust ourselves and take the steps needed to heal. But here’s the secret: the power to break free lies within you, and you alone have the ability to silence it. Please read more about Internal Barriers in another one of my blog posts.
Building Self-Trust: Your Inner Strength Awaits
Imagine your inner critic as a noisy neighbor. You can’t control their actions, but you can control how much power you give them over your space. Here’s how to build self-trust and quiet that inner critic:
- Know Your Boundaries: What drains your energy? What situations make you feel unsafe or uncomfortable? Identifying your boundaries is the first step to protecting yourself.
- Respect Your Needs: Once you know your boundaries, honor them. Say no to things that deplete you. Take breaks when you need them. Prioritize activities that make you feel good.
- Challenge Negative Self-Talk: That inner critic thrives on negativity. When it starts its tirade, challenge those thoughts. Are they realistic? Are they helpful? Replace them with affirmations that speak to your strengths and resilience. Your affirmations must be believable to your subconscious mind.
- Celebrate Your Victories: Healing is a journey, not a destination. Acknowledge your progress, no matter how small. Celebrate each step forward, no matter how insignificant it may seem.
Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. You wouldn’t be harsh or uncompassionate to a friend going through a tough time, so don’t do it to yourself. Treat yourself with the same understanding and support you’d offer a loved one. Remember, you deserve your own kindness and understanding.
Setting Boundaries: Reclaiming Your Power
Boundaries aren’t just about protecting yourself from external negativity; they’re also about creating a safe space for healing. Here’s how to use boundaries to empower your journey and foster a nurturing environment for your recovery: Dealing with trapped or suppressed emotions can be daunting. Here is a great resource to help you overcome those challenges.
- Limit Contact with Triggers: Certain people, places, or situations can trigger memories or emotional responses. Set boundaries to limit contact with these triggers or establish ways to interact with them without overwhelming or setting you back.
- Communicate Clearly: Don’t expect people to read your mind. Be clear about your needs and boundaries. “I need some time alone” or “I’m not comfortable discussing this topic” are acceptable phrases. If people violate your boundaries, at least for me, it is an excuse to shut down and not deal with the issue, or your trapped inner child will go into protective mode, and you will respond negatively.
- Don’t Be Afraid to Say No: Saying no can feel challenging, but it’s a crucial skill for self-care and building self-trust. Don’t feel obligated to do things that drain you or violate your boundaries.
Remember, You’re Not Alone
This journey of self-trust and healing can be challenging. There will be setbacks, and that’s okay. You may need to seek help from a counselor who specializes in trauma recovery. They can provide a safe space to explore your experiences, develop healthy coping mechanisms, and learn additional strategies for building self-trust and setting boundaries.
Believe in Yourself: It’s Time to Shine
Building self-trust and setting boundaries isn’t about becoming selfish but self-love and empowerment. It’s about creating a foundation for healing and growth. By silencing the inner critic and creating a safe space for yourself, you unlock your ability to believe in yourself and your ability to heal. You are strong, resilient, and capable of incredible things. Trust yourself, set your boundaries, and watch yourself blossom.
Overcoming Common Obstacles:
The path to self-trust and firm boundaries can be challenging. Here are some common obstacles you might encounter, along with ways to navigate them:
- Fear of Vulnerability: Trauma can make it challenging to open up and trust again and can also lead to isolation and slow your healing progress.
- Challenge: Start small. Have a chat with a trusted friend or therapist. Being vulnerable with your feelings is a strength, not a weakness.
- Perfectionism: The pressure to be “perfect” can be a major roadblock. It can make you hesitant to take on new challenges or risks for the fear of failure.
- Challenge: Focus on progress, not perfection. Celebrate your efforts and acknowledge that setbacks are inevitable. Remember, growth happens outside your comfort zone.
- Imposter Syndrome: Feeling like a fraud or like you don’t belong can undermine your confidence and self-trust.
- Challenge: Focus on your strengths and accomplishments. Remember, everyone experiences self-doubt sometimes.
- Negative Core Beliefs: Deeply ingrained negative beliefs about yourself can be a significant hurdle. These beliefs might stem from your trauma or past experiences.
- Challenge: Challenge these beliefs. Are they based on reality? If needed, seeking help from a professional can help identify and address these core beliefs.
- Triggers and Flashbacks: These experiences can be disruptive and make feeling safe and in control difficult.
- Challenge: Develop healthy coping mechanisms for managing triggers and flashbacks. Techniques like deep breathing, mindfulness, and grounding exercises can be helpful.
Remember: These obstacles are typical, and you don’t have to overcome them alone.
Practical Tools for Everyday Accountability
Here are some practical tools you can incorporate into your daily routine to strengthen self-trust and boundaries:
- Daily Affirmations: Start your day with positive statements that reinforce your self-worth and capabilities. Examples: “I am strong,” “I am worthy of love and happiness,” “I trust my intuition.”
- Journaling: Regularly reflect on your thoughts, feelings, and progress. Journaling can help you identify patterns, track growth, and gain clarity.
- Mindfulness Meditation: Practice being present and non-judgmental with your experiences. Mindfulness can help you quiet your inner critic and connect with your inner wisdom.
- Body Scan Exercises: Reconnect with your body to build trust in your physical sensations. Body scan exercises can help manage stress and anxiety. This YouTube video, Body Scan Meditation Description and History, explains how to perform a body scan. I am not affiliated with this channel in any way, but I felt it gave a great description of a body scan.
- Accountability Partner Check-Ins: Share your goals and progress with a trusted friend, therapist, or mentor. Having someone hold you accountable or share your progress with a friend can help keep you moving forward and stop you from being in your own way. You can also read an article called “How to Hold Yourself Accountable and Achieve Your Goals.”
You’ll gradually build a foundation of self-trust and firm boundaries by consistently using these tools and strategies. This will empower you to believe in yourself and take control of your healing journey. Remember, you are worthy, capable, and deserve to heal.
Believe in Yourself and Embrace Your Journey
Recovering from trauma is a brave expression of self-love. By nurturing self-trust and establishing clear boundaries, you provide a safe environment for your healing and growth.
This path may have its challenges, but remember that you are resilient, capable, and deserving of happiness. Have faith in yourself, embrace your journey, and celebrate each step forward. With persistent effort and self-compassion, you’ll tap into your potential and build a life rooted in authenticity and strength.
Ready to take the next step in your healing journey? Download our free guide, “Identifying 7 Problem Areas That Could Be Holding You Back,” or schedule a consultation with an experienced trauma therapist today.
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Disclosure: The content on my website is for informational purposes only, expressing my opinions of what I have experienced and what has worked for me. The information I write about is NOT designed to supplement or replace professional medical guidance, diagnosis, or treatment. You should always research and seek advice from your family physician or a qualified healthcare professional for any queries about medical conditions you might have. You should always research and seek advice from your family physician or a qualified healthcare professional.